Maputo

I sit on the ledge
Waves lap at my feet
I’m content, yet not present
You’re always on my mind
So many things I’m searching for
I have yet to find

Tears fall for the things I want
A feeling that will never stay
I don’t believe in God
Otherwise I would pray
For you

I wonder where you are
I know I’m so far away
But I still care
More for you, than you care
For yourself right now

You are not well

I don’t know how to tell you
You need help
Yet you will not help yourself
There’s nothing I can do
But to care for myself

So I sit here
Wipe away my tears
Ten minutes feels like years
Smile in response to stares
Dodge potholes, centipedes
Try to fulfill all my needs
In a foreign place
I have so much space
So much time

I want to leave
But I don’t know where to go
Or how I’m supposed to know
Where to be

So the cool ocean breeze
Soothes me
And I make peace
With my tears
My fears of losing you
For I have so much to do

And so little control
I send my wish
Out to the sea
And breathe deeply
I keep walking
In Maputo
Eventually,
I’ll know where to go