Tag: South Africa

Decisions

How to make the right decision
And is there a right one
If I choose one path, do I forfeit another
I’ve made my choice but I still wonder
What I should have done

Making choices is hard
I try to go with the flow
But even after I decide
It’s hard to know
What I should have chose

I sit here and ponder
Where I’m supposed to be
What path should I have followed
Sometimes I wish I was not here
But I’m waiting for the Universe to lead me
How long do I wait
Do I follow or choose my fate

I accept my consequences
I choose my actions
Yet I question myself
Every time I become uncomfortable
I don’t accept my reactions
To uncertainty
Despite my precaution
There’s no guarantee
That I’ve made the right decision

For whatever is not happening
I cannot find
It’s not real
Only transpiring in my mind
Yet I question everything
Drive myself crazy
Filling my time
What if I miss what’s right for me?
Make the wrong decision
I try to re-evaluate
Adjust my position

For I always have another choice
I am not stuck
Despite my feelings
My apparent luck
The things that don’t go my way
I always have a voice
I can choose my path anytime
Shift and realign

Perhaps the best I can do is think less
Let go and try to not make a mess
I don’t know what’s supposed to be
What’s right for you or me
For there’s so little I can control
I can’t comprehend or pretend
To understand the flow
Life is a practice of letting go

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Surf Therapy

Muizenberg. The beach town that became my home last year has tricked me. Tricked me into thinking it was the same, that I could pick up where I left off, but so much has changed. I find myself lost in thought, struggling to be present amongst this beautiful beachy community. Why am I here? I question why I came back, what I’m doing with my life, what does it mean? I look for answers amongst the sea and the mountains, my two favorite things, perfectly complimenting each other. Surely I’ll find my answers as I walk between the things I love the most. Continue reading “Surf Therapy” →

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Afropunk

Afro: Born of African Spirit and Heritage, see also black (not always), see also rhythm and color, see also other, underdog. Punk: as in rebel, opposing the simple route, looking forward with simplicity, rawness and curiosity, see also other, underdog. Afropunk, as in where I ended up on New Year’s Eve in Johannesburg, South Africa. Clearly, more along the punk lines than the afro, nevertheless, I randomly wandered into this music festival with curiosity. Continue reading “Afropunk” →

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Water

From the Midwest, to the mountains of Zürich, the rough streets of Johannesburg, to my final destination: picturesque Cape Town, South Africa. How silly of me to think it would be as it was before. The mountains still stand, clouds rolling over the top of Table Mountain like waves, the lively streets are the same, the familiar shops greet me, but it’s different. I’m different. I play my own movies of what was, feelings of another time, I know this change, in fact I’m aware enough to expect it, but now I feel it. Continue reading “Water” →

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Joburg

Gritty, dirty, urban- a city that has its past written all over its streets. I walk down streets that resemble Harlem in New York, just broken down and without the diverse faces from around the world that make the urban hub so unique. I step over cracks, around trash, curiously looking at the empty buildings, the familiar graffiti art that adds character to the run down brick. I notice a guy following me, telling me about his penthouse down the street. He has been to New York once- Brooklyn, but can’t tell me where. I quickly duck into the only restaurant I’ve seen to lose my pursuer. Continue reading “Joburg” →

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The Black Pearl

21 complete strangers get in a bus on a windy morning in Cape Town- a bunch of Europeans, two Brazilians, two South Koreans, and an American (me). They are destined to spend the next 20 something days together camping and traveling. Our charismatic captain (Tenk) has possibly watched Pirates of The Caribbean one too many times, and quickly names our safari truck The Black Pearl.  Continue reading “The Black Pearl” →

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Tribes

I usually don’t love the word tribe (used to describe a group of people-non Western) as I feel like it’s a product of colonialism, but for lack of a better word it’s the title of this blog sooo, yeah. I’ve had the pleasure of learning about and spending time with different tribes in Namibia on this journey, such as the Bushmen, Sans, and Himbas tribes. Continue reading “Tribes” →

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Into The Wild

Finally, my whole self – mind, body & spirit are one the road. My mind mostly, and a little of my spirit, wasn’t fully in it the first day (my body obviously showed up 100℅). Still adjusting to the abrupt change of pace, from navigating my days by foot to navigation by truck. From sleeping in a bed to constructing and sleeping in a tent each night. From having my own time to sharing all my time with a group of then strangers, now friends. Continue reading “Into The Wild” →

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People Pods

I’ll admit it, I have a bizarre/exciting/abnormal life right now. I’m living out of a suitcase, sharing space with people I barely know, and I’m about to give up sleeping in a bed/ hot showers for the next month. Still, despite the usual oddities of my day-to-day life, some situations I get myself into are just weird. Continue reading “People Pods” →

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The Experience

I’m going for my daily walk from Muizenberg to Kalk Bay, taking in the ocean, waves breaking on rocks, surfers gliding into shore, sun beating on the back of my neck. I think I dreamed that I lived in New York once, that I used to run around Central Park, walk the streets of Manhattan. It’s funny how with time, even hard moments can become sweet memories, filed away, somewhere in between here and there.

What if I’d never left? What if I had missed this experience? Hot tears fall from behind my sunglasses, guarding my emotion from bypassers, workers on the side of the street. Could it be possible I was so afraid to leave? So afraid of leaving my friends and the comfort of  my home, afraid of being alone?

I can’t imagine my life without this experience. I had to be here, where else would I be? How foolish my fears seem now. My life here couldn’t be fuller. I’ve pulled more all nighters here than I did in the last 3 years of my twenties. I’ve fallen in love, thrown axes, climbed mountains, gotten hurt (fluid drained from my knee – gross), laughed until I cried, taught yoga on a cement playground scattered with glass, got licked by a giraffe, saw a shark, sun bathed on a beach surrounded by African penguins (pretty sure one tried to mate with me too), and learned precious lessons about culture and history – the reality of peoples struggles.

I’ve made countless friends in South Africa, and I’ve been anything but lonely. What if I had missed it? I’m overwhelmed with gratitude that I came here. I’m not running away, I’m running into the world, into new experiences. Travel has completely changed my life.

Perhaps my experience in Cape Town will not be again as it is in this moment. Perhaps I’ll never again see the people I’ve met here. I’m not melancholy, but overwhelmed at the beautiful moments I’ve had. Even in the hard times when I’ve questioned what I’m doing here, sad times, uncomfortable moments, I wouldn’t want to have missed the experience.

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